Easing the Journey Through Grief (written for Hospice of Michigan)
Darlene Cadarette remembers the night of December 13, 1990 vividly, because that night she lost part of herself.
Her only son, Kevin, 28, the middle of her three children, was killed in an automobile accident.
“It doesn’t matter whether you lose a child to cancer, to an accident or to suicide, or if the child is two months old or 50 years old,” said Cadarette, who lives in Alpena. “It’s the same kind of hurt, like part of you was ripped right out.”
Cadarette knew Hospice of Michigan provided grief support services as well as care for the terminally ill. She and her husband, Jerry, had used Hospice in the late 1980s, when they cared for a close family friend during her final illness.
After Kevin died, Cadarette enrolled in Hospice’s six-week grief recovery program. She also attended some special programs, like the one on how to cope with the holidays after the loss of a loved one. Nothing seemed to ease the emptiness she felt.
In the spring of 1992, Cadarette helped form a grief support group in Alpena specifically for parents who had lost a child. With the help of Hospice grief support counselor Carey Rapin, the parents meet monthly to share their feelings and concerns.
Cadarette saw that she wasn’t alone in her despair. Gradually, she began to heal. She knew she was making progress when she compared herself to others in the group and realized that her emotions were no longer as raw as they had been. Cadarette still attends group meetings, though she doesn’t feel the need to go as often. She regards that as a good sign.
“Last year was the first time since Kevin died that we actually looked forward to Christmas,” she said. “Recovering has been a long, hard road, but I finally feel like I’m starting to live again.”
Darlene Cadarette remembers the night of December 13, 1990 vividly, because that night she lost part of herself.
Her only son, Kevin, 28, the middle of her three children, was killed in an automobile accident.
“It doesn’t matter whether you lose a child to cancer, to an accident or to suicide, or if the child is two months old or 50 years old,” said Cadarette, who lives in Alpena. “It’s the same kind of hurt, like part of you was ripped right out.”
Cadarette knew Hospice of Michigan provided grief support services as well as care for the terminally ill. She and her husband, Jerry, had used Hospice in the late 1980s, when they cared for a close family friend during her final illness.
After Kevin died, Cadarette enrolled in Hospice’s six-week grief recovery program. She also attended some special programs, like the one on how to cope with the holidays after the loss of a loved one. Nothing seemed to ease the emptiness she felt.
In the spring of 1992, Cadarette helped form a grief support group in Alpena specifically for parents who had lost a child. With the help of Hospice grief support counselor Carey Rapin, the parents meet monthly to share their feelings and concerns.
Cadarette saw that she wasn’t alone in her despair. Gradually, she began to heal. She knew she was making progress when she compared herself to others in the group and realized that her emotions were no longer as raw as they had been. Cadarette still attends group meetings, though she doesn’t feel the need to go as often. She regards that as a good sign.
“Last year was the first time since Kevin died that we actually looked forward to Christmas,” she said. “Recovering has been a long, hard road, but I finally feel like I’m starting to live again.”